Pleasure in the pathless woods

Today is SO wonderful! I woke up at 8:40 and took a super long shower. After a huge bowl of cereal I sat in my silky robe drinking coffee and watching Sex and the City. Then I slowly got ready for work and cleaned my room (vacuuming and everything)! Now I’m on my way into April Cornell for a quick five hour shift :) I can’t wait to get off work and relax for two days!

i’ve made my way through two and a half television series so far this summer….what to watch next?

so long since I’ve felt anything at all. Sometimes it feels like that part of me capable of falling absolutely head over heals for ANYTHING at all is gone. I miss the days when summer meant chasing boys and sleepovers and late night movies and wishing I could escape the confines of my four bedroom walls. And now two years later I’m left feeling empty and nostalgic for those days. I escape into television romances, and songs about life to get me through every painful day. But in reality life feels hollow. 

I feel hollow. 

I want to feel passionate about something! Too much time is spent wondering about my student loans, and if I will ever really truly live a satisfying life. There are so many things I wish I could relive. I used to regret past decisions, but now I just long for the opportunity to re experience them all. I’m afraid to move forward and leave behind the person I used to be. I’m afraid of not living the life I want more than anything. I’m afraid I will always be TRAPPED by my inhibitions….

I want to feel something. Anything.