August 2011
51 posts
the most horrible feeling is when you know you want to cry, and just let everything free, but something inside of you tells you that you can’t. And for those moments when the tears are welling and your throat is swelling you feel the most horrendous pressure, like an explosion building up. something scary and horrible that you just cannot control. and then suddenly it’s over. The...
Changes:
I’m at this insane pivotal moment where so many things are happening at once and i just don’t know how to sort through them. I can almost see into the future and predict how my life is going to plan out depending on the choices i make. On one hand i can overcome my fears and reach for something new, something previously thought to be unattainable, or i can settle for what i have....
A quick run down of the last day and a half:
Woke up. got dunkin donuts. met my fellow staff members. went to an hour long talk and intro on RAing. break for lunch. another hour or so long talk. met with my staff alone to talk more. break for forty minutes. Dinner. break for thirty minutes. pizza putt till nine thirty. showered. went on stroll around campus with peter. sleep.
Woke up at 7. got cleaned up. breakfast at 7:30 till eight. met...
I really just don’t know what to do.
what option do i have,
but to let you go?
I don’t want to say goodbye,
but maybe i have to.
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Here I sit
All alone.
On this night that you built up so much…. My expectations will be my downfall…or is it that your lack of caring or concern for my feelings just keep setting me back?
I hate you. I fucking hate you for making me feel this low when all i wanted was to feel so fucking high. i just wanted this to be a day to remember, a night to cherish. A night we talk about later on in...
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“Laugh at the night, at the day, at the moon, laugh at the twisted streets of the island, laugh at this clumsy fool who loves you, but when I open my eyes and close them, when my steps go, when my steps return, deny me bread, air, light, spring, but never your laughter. “
-Pablo Neruda
I move out tomorrow. i’m so ready for this next chapter in my life.
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My parents are complete idiots. Seriously they love to freak out. i cannot stand this fucking prison. get me the FUCK out of here.
And as to the “sadness” of my previous post on leaving….i take that back.
Attention future self: whenever you feel like moving back home again remember this moment. remember the assholes that are you family members. do not ever put yourself...
My room’s an absolute MESS because of all of my things to go to school. And i stink, I haven’t showered in a few days (camping and all, plus packing all day didn’t really require it). And i’m just in bed, drinking coffee. I borrowed mom’s encyclopedia on Arthurian legend, I’ve got my mythology book I’ve been reading all week, and three seasons of Robin...
Everything is moving so fast, yet creeping by so slowly…
i don’t know what tomorrow holds, or next week, or even next year, but i’m going to work harder at appreciating every single day we have together. i never want to wake up one morning and realize i’ve wasted all of my emotions on stupid things. i just want to love you every moment of every fucking day.
i just want...
That awkward moment when Rick Astley runs around...
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Today is Wednesday, I’ll be camping here at Whiteface Mountain till possibly Friday (or Thursday otherwise). As soon as I get home I have to pack my entire life up! Then Saturday I have work at the Farmers Market as always, then spend the rest of the day cleaning and finishing up packing. Then comes the interesting part….Sunday I move into my new dorm room! Then I’ve got four...
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I need to get out of here!
It’s finally hitting me that i only have two more weeks at home. Tomorrow i finally get to see my long lost love Katelyn from smc, and hopefully Rachael too! Wednesday through Sunday I work and then Monday through Wednesday I’m camping….that just leaves next Thursday and Friday to pack (saturday to work) and Sunday I move in!
So basically I have to start packing up a little bit...
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